Gay Men Can't Jump

Posted by Seth Kramer on Sunday, February 18th 2007 at 2:07am


Last week a British man by the name of John Amaechi released a book entitled Man in the Middle in which he details his childhood, moving to America, his college basketball career, as well as his professional basketball career. Oh yeah, and that he's gay. A three hundred page tome, of which only 30 pages contain any references to his homosexuality, quickly became the subject of every sports talk show in the nation. What can I say men gossip about sports like women gossip about...um...women. Anyway, many in the sports community were incredulous because as we all know:



However none more so than Tim Hardaway, former point guard for the Miami heat, who said in an interview with a Miami radio station that if he knew a gay player were on his team, he would ask the coach to have the player traded, or trade him. When the host of the show said that he thought that was a bit homophobic Hardaway had this to say:

Well, you know, I hate gay people. I let it be known I don't like gay people. I don't like to be around gay people. I'm homophobic. It shouldn't be in the world, in the United States, I don't like it.

Wow! The world, Tim? I'm impressed. That's commitment. If homosexuals only existed in the windswept plains of Patagonia, a remote village in Namibia, or the verdant volcanic hills of Kamchatka life would apparently still be teh suck for poor Tim Hardaway? Well, I can respect his position. I mean who am I to question why Tim Hardaway only wants straight men to see his penis.

Still, that wasn't the worst of it. As is typical, the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (a.k.a. GLAAD, a.k.a. the wet blanket squad) released a riveting press statement detailing how Hardaway's comments were ignorant, bigoted, blah, blah, blah. They want an apology and maybe then they can book him a room in gay rehab with Isaiah Washington.

And believe it or not here--right here--is where I have a problem. GLAAD seems to be playing the abused spouse role in this relationship, "He don't hit me much, and he luuuvs me." GLAAD always concerns themselves with making sure that everybody has to like us. Everybody just HAS to be comfortable with gay people. Me? I don't give a shit. I don't try to make people uncomfortable, but if they choose to make themselves uncomfortable with reality, then so be it.

The truth is Hardaway is entitled to his stupid-assed, tiny-minded opinion. Just like I'm entitled to my stupid-assed, tiny-minded opinions. What matters to me is that you don't attempt to discriminate against me. There are plenty of people I know who don't have a problem with the fact I'm gay and do think taking away my civil rights is okay, and that's what I want to change. People like GLAAD can spend the rest of their lives trying to win the approval of others. It's not healthy, and it's not the point.

But I don't want to just sermonize on GLAAD's sad/boring press, there was another, much more fun one from a right-wing women's group, Concerned Women for America. Their policy director, Matt (formerly Matilda?) Barber, says

Hardaway's comments are both unfortunate and inappropriate. They provide political fodder for those who wish to paint all opposition to the homosexual lifestyle as being rooted in 'hate.' It's important to note that Hardaway's words represent the feelings of Hardaway. His words do not represent the feelings of the vast majority of people opposed to the homosexual agenda.

I love the idea of a homosexual agenda. I don't know who came up with it, but you should really know it's more of a homosexual day-planner with a leather snap and beefcake photos of Paul Lynde and Charles Nelson Riley and Liberace for each month, but all very tasteful. Seriously, what are these gals (and Matt) smoking? We can't even decide if pink polo shirts and ironic tees are still in this year. We don't have an agenda, believe me, I'm the kind of polically-aware queer who would know. Okay, now that I got that off my chest I return you to the right-wing craziness already in progress.

It's perfectly natural for people to be repelled by disordered sexual behaviors that are both unnatural, and immoral.

Something tells me for them this means sex without marriage/missionary position/lights off. Sorry Matt, I didn't mean to interrupt.

All too often those behaviors are accompanied by serious physical, emotional, and spiritual pitfalls. However, the appropriate reaction is to respond with words and acts of love, not words of hate. Jesus Christ offers forgiveness and freedom for all sinners, and that is the heart of the Gospel message.

Yeah I hear it did wonders for Pastor Methy McGayhookersex.

Thousands of former homosexuals have been freed from the homosexual lifestyle through acts of love. Hardaway's comments only serve to foment misperceptions of widespread homosexual 'victimhood' which the homosexual lobby has craftily manufactured.

I have to admit, there is a gay lobby, and they are crafty...



I'm feeling tired