Liveblogging the First Republican Debate

Posted by Seth Kramer on Thursday, May 3rd 2007 at 7:13pm



This is the staging area for my liveblogging of the GOP debate at the Reagan Library in Simi Valley, California.

These are the candidates, there are 10.

Sen. Sam Brownback (KS)
Sen. John McCain (AZ)
Gov. Mike Huckabee (AR)
Hon. Rudolph Giuliani (NY)
Hon. Ron Paul (TX)
Gov. Jim Gilmore (VA)
Hon. Duncan Hunter (CA)
Gov. Mitt Romney (MA)
Hon. Tom Tancredo (CO)
Gov. Tommy Thompson (WI)

The debate begins in 45 minutes, and the liquor begins to flow.

[05.03.2007 19:57:33] So here's what I have to say about this debate before it gets started. Obvious question: Why am I watching? Well I'm not a Republican but I want to be informed, especially if the Dems make the mistake of nominating Hillary, in which case I may have to vote for a Republican, or 3rd party (again one day I'll blog on this)

Thoughts: Somehow the candidates have to sing Tammy Wynette and Frank Sinatra at the same time. What do I mean? Well the republican base wants to hear how great the President is for vetoing funding for the troops and continuing the war against "those damn towel heads", and Independant voters (for our purpose that is potentially me) need a good reason to vote for the same party that brought you the Katrina response (or lack thereof), and everyone's favorite civil war Iraq. So they'll want to "Stand by [their] Man" and "Do It [Their] Way".

If you're wondering why I haven't had anything to say about the veto it's because I've tried twice and each time it's either a string of profanity, or something so angry I'd sound like Pat Buchanan. So if my claws are out tonight you'll know why. I knew the veto was coming, but I can't even begin to express how much it pisses me off.

Now on to the candidates:

Mitt Romney will be lucky if he can get through the entire debate without flip flopping a few times. Whether it's abortion, or his gun control stance who the hell knows what he thinks. Whatever it is I'm sure that's been a lifelong opinion since he's had it once a couple of weeks ago. (See hunting debacle)

McCain will want to not look 700 years old, and not support the war too much or he loses the Independents.

Giuliani will want to endear himself to the Republican base, so he'll probably bring up his marriage to his cousin. I expect every third word out of his mouth to be 9/11.

everybody else is just happy to have a camera in their face.

A word about the Reagan Library: So they're doing this shindig at the Reagan Library. What can we expect? Everything short of exhuming and fellating Ron's corpse. Everybody's going to compare themselves to Ron Reagan and say how wonderful Iran-Contra was. Reagan is probably their best choice to canonize since when you consider the Republicans presidents of the last century you've got the guy who caused and exacerbated the Great Depression (Hoover), they guy who was responsible for Watergate, the guy who came to office thanks to Watergate, and the Bushes, the first of which's legacy is marred by the last of which. So that leaves you with Eisenhower and Reagan. And who remembers Eisenhower?

Last but not least, who's not here. Chuck Hagel who's anti-war war hero status will probably keep him out of the campaign, and Law & Order's very own Fred Thompson, who may have a chance if he gets some money raised like YESTERDAY.

Anyway 2 minutes to go.

[05.03.2007 20:03:39] BTW I'm cranky cuz I'm missing another Sox game (It's tied 5-5 in the 3rd.

[05.03.2007 20:06:07] McCain is starting to look like Gravel. I hate when he calls us "my friends". "There will be chaos, genocide and they will follow us home." So the terrorists are like puppies?

[05.03.2007 20:07:38] Thompson seems to be gasping to get enough air to answer his question. He sounds like a kid trying to run through what happened today in 10 seconds "and then they told me that that (gasp) I need to get you to bring in some cookies and..."

[05.03.2007 20:08:49] Romney looks okay, but if the MSNBC camera keeps shaking I"m going to barf.

[05.03.2007 20:10:45] Brownback has terrible hair and is pretending he's an internationalist. That's funny. He hasn't said that we need to convert all the Muslims to his brand of Jesusocracy.

[05.03.2007 20:12:52] Huckabee also doesn't sound angry like the rest of them. Maybe GOP voters are masochists they want a daddy. Spank me daddy. Okay I've definately had too much to drink.

[05.03.2007 20:14:05] I'm still reeling from Romney's "plug in the teevee and vote" idea.

[05.03.2007 20:14:47] Ron Paul acting like a goddamn conservative. Hey, maybe we shouldn't invade everyone and mind our own goddamn business. But he's all shouty too. Guys, stop yelling.

[05.03.2007 20:17:00] Christ, are they all on steroids? They're screaming like they're 'roid raging. McCain just confused Iraq and Iran (doesn't bode well in my book) Never seen so many jowls in all my life.

[05.03.2007 20:18:45] Tancredo was very halting on a question about military force on Iran if Israel felt like it, and basically said sure.

[05.03.2007 20:19:22] Rudy fixes it with "it would depend on our intelligence" which we all know has lead us to some super conclusions so far.

[05.03.2007 20:20:08] Rudy just said Iran turned over hostages when they looked in Ron's eyes. WHAT IS HE SMOKING? Does he not remember Iran-Contra? or did Ron hid the guns in his eyes?

[05.03.2007 20:21:33] the Politico web question guy looks like a day trader.

[05.03.2007 20:22:40] McCain decided to answer a question about Immigration with Osama bin Laden and end it with "I'll follow him to the gates of hell". Wow.

[05.03.2007 20:25:51] Christ You'd think Ron Reagan invented optimism.

[05.03.2007 20:26:37] Tommy Thompson looks like a muppet. frog.

[05.03.2007 20:28:02] Hunter: I'm going to answer your question with one word and bring up something completely unrelated. Again with the shouting.

[05.03.2007 20:28:48] Okay I was liking Ron Paul, until he decided that we don't need an IRS.

[05.03.2007 20:29:40] Rudy weasels on the abortion question. That's not gonna go over well.

[05.03.2007 20:32:40] Romney explains why he's waffled on abortion. Two years ago he changed his mind.

[05.03.2007 20:33:10] Brownback just surprised me that he could "support a candidate that supports abortion."

[05.03.2007 20:37:06] 7-5 Boston over Seattle @ Boston. I think Huckabee just said "sitting on a hill" and not "city on a hill"

[05.03.2007 20:37:38] Ron Paul shouts some more about Soviets.

[05.03.2007 20:38:32] Thompson says it should be okay to fire the fags. YAY!!! GO Thompson. Lets fire all the fags and they can decorate the homeless shelters.

[05.03.2007 20:40:24] Fetus = trapped coal miners. What?

[05.03.2007 20:41:50] Here comes the Jebus schtick from (surprise, surprise) Sam Brownback.

[05.03.2007 20:43:16] Duncan Hunter out Tancredos (illegal immigration) Tom Tancredo.

[05.03.2007 20:44:28] IT ISN'T A MATTER OF KARL ROVE shouts Governor Gilmore.

[05.03.2007 20:46:21] Chris Matthews recognizes that the candidates are answering whatever question they feel like.

[05.03.2007 20:47:24] Thompson: "I'm popular in Wisconsin" is roughly like "My mom thinks I'm handsome."

[05.03.2007 20:48:31] This is the most out of control debate I've ever seen. 10 candidates is WAY too many. Tancredo thinks that Reagan wasn't a centrist. That's right, he was an opportunist.

[05.03.2007 20:50:32] McCain is confused about time. Grandpa isn't looking very presidential. What's with his thumbs up. McCain want's the line-item veto, which the supreme court already ruled is unconstitutional.

[05.03.2007 20:51:18] Huckabee doesn't want to say how the war's going.

[05.03.2007 20:53:07] Matthews points out that Giuliani has a "nuanced point of view" (reads: John Kerry opinion). Rudy eating his cake and having it to.

[05.03.2007 20:55:11] Rudy sounds like he's going both ways on abortion. Having his cake and eating it too, or should I say having his baby, and aborting it too. And that joke demonstrates I may have had too much to drink.

[05.03.2007 20:56:00] Duncan Hunter: Global warming is a great opportunity. Yay for global warming.

[05.03.2007 20:58:01] Governor Gilmore bravely comes out bravely for enforcing the laws.

[05.03.2007 21:01:38] Stem cells, shall we save reanimate Ron's corpse and fix his fucked up brain. Romney: mumbly long winded, but basically no. Brownback: HELL NO. JESUS TOLD ME SO. Gilmore: No. Huckabee: Nope Hunter: No. Thompson: I have no answer, but it's still no. McCain: Yes Paul: No. Giuliani: Mumbly both way answer, and we have our Republican John Kerry Tancredo: No.

[05.03.2007 21:08:12] Down the line Tax he'd like to cut in additino to Bush's Romney: Interest, dividends, Capital Gains (big surprise not payroll tax) Brokeback: Flat tax. And he wants to kill somebody with a dull axe. Gov. Gilmore Girls: Alternative Minimum TAx Huckabee: "FairTax" Hunter: export taxes Thompson: the Muppet Frog Tax McCain: Line Item Veto, blah blah, AMT, Health insurance Congressman Les "guitar" Paul: Get rid of Income Tax, then the Inflation tax (which is not a tax) okay. Giuliani: Estate tax Tancredo: "Fair"Tax and repeal the 16th amendment (that'll happen).

[05.03.2007 21:10:29] Hunter: Name one thing we do well, one thing we do poorly Good: Killing Zarkawi (who's been dead for a year) Bad: border security (Hunter is totally out Tancredoing Tancredo)

[05.03.2007 21:11:26] McCain: Do you believe in evolution, Yes. Then they ask for a show of hands who doesn't and like 4 go up (Tancredo, Brownback [SURPRISE], and two others). Republicans scare me.

[05.03.2007 21:13:26] Ron "Les" Paul trusts the Internet. WOW he is a fool.

[05.03.2007 21:15:42] Giuliani, what's your biggest weakness? Answer: I'm an optimist. That's a weakness? Whatever, and Brownback can't come up with something wrong with Giuliani...that's just sad. He's totally running for VP or the GOP is starting to look like the touchy feely Democrats.

[05.03.2007 21:17:39] How many have been killed and injured in Iraq to Thompson? over 3k killed, and "several" thousand injured. Kinda vague.

[05.03.2007 21:18:01] Giuliani thinks we need a National ID card. Yeah, that sounds conservative.

[05.03.2007 21:22:25] They keep calling Ron Paul "Dr. Paul". He is an M.D. but usually the highest rank is what you get, apparently M.D. outranks a Congressman. Go figure.

[05.03.2007 21:24:57] Schiavo: Should Congress have gotten involved. Romney: No. Brownback: Of fucking course McCain: No answer probably we acted hastily. Giuliani: Leave it to the court (I take that as a no).

[05.03.2007 21:28:13] Rudy with the Democrats love the terrorists answer. Won't someone please make this lisping idiot shut the fuck up?

[05.03.2007 21:28:39] What was the Clinton question about? Do you all totally hate the Clintons? Yes, or HELL YES!

[05.03.2007 21:30:26] yay, this is finally ending. 7-7 in the bottom of the 6th in Boston.

[05.03.2007 21:32:50] Thank god it's over. No amount of alcohol can make their ideas seem good. If the Democratic party is the party of no ideas, the GOP is the party of bad ideas.

[05.03.2007 21:34:24] So how does it end? God help them. I think I'd vote for a 3rd party if I have to choose from these losers.

[05.03.2007 22:07:17] Okay last post. Realistically who looks the best (to a GOP primary voter) coming out of this? I think Romney he looked and sounded good.

Disappointment? Giuliani really disappointed me with his "if the Democrats are in power we'll be back on the defensive with terrorism". First of all it implies that the Republicans have a special "spidey sense" about terrorism, and to that I would ask where Mr. Mayor's spidey sense was on that day? Second, It's really a naked partisan attack. I had sort of hoped Rudy was above that sort of behavior. Lastly, to a GOP voter Giuliani's position on abortion, stem cells, etc is smells like it's been bathing in Aunt Jemima. You can't waffle like that. I don't think the conservative Christian crowd, many of whom have spent their lives trying to undo Roe v. Wade, is going to cotton to his position. I don't know if I said it already in my blog, but I know I said it on Wonkette. I think the GOP has their very own John Kerry.

I'm feeling drunk