23 Things I'm Sick of Hearing About

Posted by Seth Kramer on Friday, May 25th 2007 at 11:49am



1. Donald Trump-A billionaire who only recently emerged from bankruptcy, and has a penchant for caring more about what other people say about him than his business. Please, tell me more.

2. Rosie O'Donnell-Coparticipant in Trump's stupidity. These two should be stranded on a desert island somewhere.

3+4. Those American Idol people-Maybe it's just because I don't give a shit about American Idol, but I don't need to hear more about these two.

5. Barack Obama-Don't get between this guy and a camera. Every time CNN/MSNBC/FOX/CBS/ABC/NBC and so on need a comment from the Donks, Barack is there. Give it a rest man.

6. The Secret-Retarded book, and apparently an even stupider movie. I only read about 3 pages before I realized this was a Depak Chopra kind of physics meets psychology meets spirituality meets taking your fucking money bullshit. Get your brooms everyone I'm calling shenanigans.

7. Paris Hilton-Throw the bitch in jail. Enough said.

8. Anna Nicole Smith-Christ she dies and they can't get enough of her. I think she'll eventually be elevated to media-saint.

9. President Bush-He's becoming completely irrelevant. Don't even bother having press conferences. Just wander around the White House talking to paintings.

10. Lindsay Lohan-Oh you drink too much. I don't care. Oh, you're in a movie? I don't care. Call me when you do something useful with your life, mmkay?

11. Virginia Tech-To the Press: Leave these people alone. And for god's sake stop showing the damn pictures of the shooter.

12. the iPhone-Oh a $500 phone that'll only work on AT&T. I'll pass. Just another overpriced, overhyped product from the people who brought you an ad campaign of silhouettes. Driving home the idea that if you use an iPod, you'll be just another faceless lemming, but you'll be a faceless lemming who overpaid for their MP3 player.

13. Al Sharpton-Whether it's Don Imus' remarks or his own. Does anybody really care what Al Sharpton has to say anymore?

14. Roger Clemens-The Yankees paid 28 million dollars for a 44 year old pitcher who has come out of retirement 4 times. Good luck with that.

15. John McCain-See also Barack Obama. Whether it's buying crap in the Baghdad Market or his Immigration Bill he's always pulling some stunt.

16. Jerry Falwell-Yeah, lets not get too exercised over his death, eh?

17. Alberto Gonzales-Christ, quit already. It's pretty obvious you're a liar and/or incompetent. You don't know why you fired these guys, but you're sure you didn't do it for a bad reason. Whatever.

18. Britney Spears-Cut your hair off. Go to rehab. Dress like a chicken and wander Central Park. Your career is over sweetheart, and we just don't care about you that much.

19. Lou Dobbs-Obsess much? His immigration shtick is a hoot. I love his poll questions: Do you believe the Republicans and Democrats have sold out America, and are feeding baby polar bears to illegal immigrants? Hilarious, but seriously dude, get a real job, and quit calling yourself a reporter.

20. Your religion-Keep it to yourself already. I've had in this one week alone 5 people (most of them complete strangers) feel the need to share their version of reality with me, and they range from hard-line evangelicalism to what sounds like voodoo to me.

21. Ron Reagan's diary-So tired of hearing about how wonderful Ron Reagan was. I bet personally he was a nice guy, but can we talk about his policies for a minute? Ignoring AIDS, selling guns to Iran to fund right-wing insurgents in Nicaragua, breaking the backs of Unions by firing the air traffic controllers, the savings and loan bailouts, massive defense spending combined with tax cuts led to a massive increase in debt. Not that great a record.

22. Former World Bank President Paul Wolfowitz-The guy just wouldn't take the suggestion, and call me crazy but I didn't need to hear a death-watch every day on this guy.

23. Tony Blair's departure-Yes, he quit. Yes, he did piss off a lot of the Brits. Yes, Bush is going to miss having a friend to start unnecessary wars with, but does it really need to be a 5 day story?

Feel free to add your own in the comments.