An Open Letter To All The Closeted Gay Republicans

Posted by Seth Kramer on Wednesday, July 18th 2007 at 12:55am



In case you hadn't heard John McCain's Florida co-chair Bob Allen, a GOP state representative was arrested last week for offering an undercover cop a blowjob in exchange for $20. Shades of Mark Foley. So as a public service announcement of sorts I'm posting this open letter to closeted GOP members (no pun intended).

Dear Closeted Gay GOP Member:

It's time we had a talk, you and I. It's time you came out of the closet. I know, it's a big dangerous world out there, but it's more safe for your career to be an out and proud Log Cabin Republican than to try and hide this sort of thing. It's going to come out eventually. Wouldn't you rather it came from you in a nicely planned presser than splashed across the six o'clock news when you get caught screwing some underage Puerto Rican tranny in a truck stop restroom? That way instead of a messy media ordeal it can be just another Thursday night.

Oh sure your party will hate you. They'll do all they can to run you out of the party and marginalize you. But you can run for office and know securely that they're going to do all they can to destroy you, and not spend all your time worrying about whether or not they'll find out and do all they can to destroy you. If you're lucky maybe some moderates in insecure seats may want to be photoed with you so that the more reasonable people in their district think "Oh hey, he's not a total homophobe, he even had his picture taken with that faggot."

Anyway, good luck Congressman Dreier and all the other closeted gay GOP members. Here's to seeing you on the front pages instead of the back room.

Seth Kramer

Anyway in light of this, and recent developments with regard to Sen. Vitter's rather hypocritcal apparent proclivity for ladies of the night, this guy who apparently likes to expose his penis and tell employees to "Suck it, baby, suck it", The Foley thing, et cetera has me thinking.

The Republicans are always going on an on about how marriage is under attack, but it occurs to me they're doing a fine job of destroying their marriage themselves. And then it hits me, just because they're hypocrites doesn't mean they're wrong. Marriage is under attack, from Republicans. So I figure if they get to vote on my marriage, lets have a vote on theirs. So I'm hoping to start a petition drive to ban marriage amongst, or to, Republicans. If we can get it on the ballot in Michigan by 2009 I'd be thrilled. Lets see what we can do, eh?

I'm feeling warm
I'm spinning Putnam County Spelling Bee - I Speak Six Languages
Put the fun back into computing: DistroWatch