A Very Serious Matter

Posted by Seth Kramer on Friday, November 9th 2007 at 12:19am



Ladies and Gentlemen it may have come to your attention that the government of Pakistan has suspended the constitution and instituted martial law and placed a stranglehold on the media. Naturally there are protests against the actions taken by President Pervez Musharraf. This comes on the heels of protests by monks in Burma that were cracked down on by the military government. Last year a coup took place in Thailand. You may recall the so called "Orange revolution" in the Ukraine in 2004, and so on.

Well I used to go to many a protest, but I've since gotten older, grown up, and most importantly got a job. So my experience with protest is admittedly a bit spotty. Anyway I was worried that I wouldn't be able to give this serious matter the attention it deserves, but then the American media reminded me of the best way to discuss this very serious matter. In the most superficial way possible. So you know what that means...

FASHION SHOW!

So without further ado lets bring out our models, shall we?

Orange Revolution



Here we see Kateryna, Olena, and Bohuslava working their matching t-shirts. Kateryna is sporting an undershirt which shows she recognizes the practical realities of those cold eastern European nights. You don't have to speak Ukrainian to understand the universal language of matching t-shirts. Still one has to wonder, can a tactic usually employed by bowling leagues and slow-pitch softball teams translate to electoral success? Anyway, this versatile fashion makes a statement. "Tak!" indeed ladies. One piece of advice ladies, if the revolution is going to be televised you should probably get it in focus.

Cedar Revolution



Shada here is working the face paint flag look. While not entirely subtle she softens it a little bit with that sly "come hither" stare through just a little bit of hair. Still there's something about this look that says "my other protest is a Packers game". Accented with two rings and a scarf her mouth may be saying "NO to Syria!", but her body is saying "Yes" to accessories.

September 2006 Thai Coup



Here comes Nissa in a fuschia grandma sweater and what looks suspiciously like paisley pajama bottoms. Apparently we caught her on casual coup Friday. She's ready for an evening alone with that special heavily-armed tank-operating sergeant she's had her eye on. A single red rose symbolizing the love they might share under different circumstances or is it a cheap attempt to distract him while her compatriot steals the tank and runs wild over Bangkok? Who knows? A lady always maintains her mystery.

Burmese Monk Protests



Tin Oo and Ne Win are making a statement. Sure they're saying "Lower prices, and release political prisoners", sure they're even saying "Abandon all your worldly possessions and come play toga party with us. First one to fall asleep gets his head shaved." But they're also saying "We can wear the shit out of a fitted or flat sheets, and we don't have to wait for the White Sale.

Pakistani Lawyers Protest



Saleem, Rafiq and Hameed pictured at the fore cut dashing figures in their dark jacket and tie. It's a protest uniform that's ready for a cocktail party or a night at the opera. Sure there's a state of emergency in Pakistan. A fashion emergency. Way to show 'em how it's done boys.

Danish Cartoon Protests



Tariq and his companion The Headless Horseman find time to protest Danish cartoons portraying Islam as a religion of violence in London. They braved the February cold with their message of peace and understanding through ironic signage and colorful ninja attire.

Well ladies and gentlemen it was another fine topical fashion show with another fine group of contenders. I'd like to thank all of our fine designers and model/protesters. We couldn't have put this thing on without you. I wish you all the best, and remember. If you can't affect policy, you might as well look good.

I'm feeling tired
I'm spinning Jonathan Coulton - Code Monkey